Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.

Hopefully.

I'm hoping my third round of chemo tomorrow finishes off this hair loss. My hair is as stubborn as I am. They say 14-21 days after your first treatment is when it happens. Today is day 20 for me. I look like a leopard.

Strands started to fall out at day 15. I dealt with it for 3 days and then went for the ole Military buzz cut, but now it's sloooooowly falling out in patches. I never thought I'd be annoyed by my own hair, but what's left hurts. It's prickly and sticks to my hats and scarves and I'm ready for it to be gone. 

They say I might get curly hair when it grows back. That'll be interesting.

Round 1

12/3/14 - My first chemo treatment. What is there to really say about it? It's a little frightening and extremely exhausting. Had to have labs drawn then visited with my Oncologist, a Pharmacist, a Social Worker, and my Patient Navigator stopped by to check on me. We were at MSTI for 5 hours. It takes about 2 1/2 hours just to administer the chemo. First 1/2 hour is anti-nausea meds through an IV, then a 1/2 hour for the Cytoxan and lastly an hour for the Adriamycin.

A few days after, I started to feel pretty tired. In fact, I feel asleep in my car at lunch the Friday after, and Dan had to come wake me up and tell me to go home. Good times. Saturday was pretty much the same. I laid on the couch all day watching movies with my love. Other side effects? I felt a little out of it on Friday. My head felt like it was in a fog, or that I was a little drugged and my scalp/hair hurt. Come Sunday though, I felt a ton better, and every day my energy was better than the day before. Luckily, I never felt nauseous. My appetite wasn't much the first 3 days, but along with my increasing energy, my appetite increased and all I wanted for a few days was carbs. Lots and lots of carbs! I have started to notice my memory isn't as good as it used to be. Chemo brain. That's what they call it. I found $20 in my desk drawer yesterday and I have absolutely no idea how it got there or where it came from. I guess I should forget where I put money more often.

So...now I get to do it all over again. Tomorrow.

Insurance Policy

I’ll take the over 95% curable policy, please.

Policy effective 12/3/2014

Item 1: Chemotherapy

First coverage: Cytoxan combined with Adriamycin – 4 treatments, one every 2 weeks.

Incidentals:

• low white blood cell count
• increased risk of bleeding from low platelet count
• hair loss
• nausea
• vomiting
• loss of appetite
• sores in mouth or on lips
• nail changes
• heart problems
• diarrhea
• irregular periods/ early menopause

Second coverage: Taxol combined with Herceptin – 12 treatments, one every week.

Incidentals:

• low white blood cell count
• susceptibility to infection
• allergic reactions
• hair loss
• numbness in the fingers and toes (neuropathy)
• weakness
• vomiting
• diarrhea
• mouth sores
• irregular periods/early menopause
• weakening of the heart muscle
• anemia
• abdominal pain

Total duration – 5 months

Item 2: Radiation – every day starting 4 weeks after chemotherapy.

Duration – 6 weeks

Item 3: Herceptin (antibody IV drug) - 17 treatments, one every 3 weeks.

HER2 (human epidermal receptor 2) inhibitor targeted therapy. HER2 inhibitors work against HER2-positive breast cancers by blocking the ability of the cancer cells to receive chemical signals that tell the cells to grow.

Incidentals:

• weakening of the heart muscle
• low white blood cell count
• diarrhea
• anemia
• abdominal pain

Duration – One year

 

October 23, 2014

It's been over a month since I received the devastating news. No words could ever begin to describe how it feels. How you feel. How your life comes crashing down around you. I don't want to die. I'm not ready to die. That's what I remember feeling the most and the exact words I cried out in utter despair to my boyfriend, Dan, and my parents when I found out.

I was at work. It was approximately 4 pm on Thursday, October 23, 2014. I wasn't even worried. It's nothing, right? 'Cause see, I had seen a surgeon in March who told me my mastalgia, fancy medical term for breast pain, was nothing. "Are you sure it's growing?" Yes, I'm sure, and yet, I shouldn't worry about it. He was sure it was just fibrocystic related. Sent me on my way with a prescription note pad that said: 1) Drink less/avoid caffeine 2) Limit alcohol 3) Take evening primose oil. So I tried, but the pain didn't stop. I still wasn't worried though. The thought of it being cancer never crossed my mind. Cancer doesn't hurt.

"It doesn't look good. I'm so sorry, sweetie." Those are the words permanently ingrained in my head. The words that sent me to my knees, bawling in the middle of my boss' cubicle. My doctor said I wouldn't remember what she was saying to me, but to make sure I had someone close to me and that they needed to take me home. She was right. All I remember was that it was cancer and that my pathology came back as Grade III. Grade III? What does that even mean? How bad is it? Am I dying? I'm dying aren't I? Just tell me! But they don't. Because they don't really know, but they don't tell you that. They let you agonize and stew over every horrible outcome you could ever possibly imagine, and then 12 hours later you get some answers. Some. I wrote mine on a diner place mat while I was forcing myself to have breakfast with my mom the next morning and pretend my life was normal.

Grade III - aggressive, abnormal cells are growing rapidly. 

Invasive - cancer cells have broken beyond the breast duct.  

Stage? An answer you don't get until surgery. There are several factors that determine staging. Not scary at all, right?

I've been through a lot since October 23. Most of it left my head spinning, my stomach in constant knots, 10 pounds lighter, and stressed beyond belief. It really feels like forever ago though. 

Surgeon consult 

Breast MRI with contrast

Chest, abdomen, pelvic CT

Bone scan 

Genetic counseling 

Sentinel node injection/scan

Lumpectomy and sentinel node dissection surgery

Medical oncology consult

Fertility consult

Thyroid ultrasound

Radiation oncology consult

Echocardiogram

Port placement surgery

Since my diagnosis, it's been fairly good news. As good as anyone could hope for with cancer. My tumor was removed successfully with good margins, meaning the surgeon cut out additional tissue surrounding the tumor and the margin tissue was cancer free. In simpler words, it's all out! During surgery I had 3 lymph nodes removed. They remove them to test them for cancer, too. This is how they know if it's metastasized and could be else where in your body. My lymph nodes? Clean. My tumor at it's longest length was 2 cm. What does this all mean? I am stage 1. Stage 1. It's pretty amazing.  

This is me.

My name is Danielle Lucinda Perryman, 31 years old. I have recited and spelled my name more times than I care to count. That’s what happens when you are diagnosed with aggressive, invasive carcinoma. Aka - Breast Cancer. Every healthcare professional will ask you to say and spell your name. It becomes second nature. Danielle Lucinda Perryman.

D-A-N-I-E-L-L-E  L-U-C-I-N-D-A  P-E-R-R-Y-M-A-N Date of birth: 5/15/83

That’s me, or is it? They should really have it tattooed on your body at birth. It would be just as much proof as me saying and spelling it. It’s not like they check for proof of identification or anything. I could be a homeless chick just trying to get free healthcare. No, that’s not the case. I AM me. I AM Danielle Lucinda Perryman, diagnosed with aggressive, invasive breast cancer. This IS my life. This IS my fight.